“I hope that someday, somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight, and that’s all they do. They don’t pull away. They don’t look at your face. They don’t try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms, without an ounce of selfishness in it.” – Waitress (2007), Dir. Adrienne Shelly
Wow, it’s been a minute.
So much has happened since I last posted. Last time I posted, I believe it was a quote about being alone on July 1st. Thats over a couple months ago…
Well I guess a brief way to fill you in is to just say I moved back from Utah and am now going to Iowa State yet again.
I didn’t want to sit here and write about updates on my life cause that would honestly be boring as hell. I don’t wanna do that to you guys, no. Instead, I thought I’d jump right back into what I always have done in the past, talk about what’s on my mind and hope that someone understands or at least takes something away from my writing.
So here it goes.
What’s been on my mind lately is how badly I compare myself to other people. And I know everyone does this in some way or another but I have a feeling I do it to an excessive amount. I’m the type of person that likes to meet a ton of people whenever I get the opportunity.
I love this about myself don’t get me wrong.
But that means more connections, more personalities, more friends, more people to compare my life to.
I am just constantly having a hard time knowing what I want to do with my life and figuring out who I am specifically even though I thought I had a good idea. Then someone does something spectacular and i’m like ‘why am I not like that?’ ‘Why am I not doing that?’ ‘They are so much farther ahead of me in life and school and figuring out who they are’.
All of it, haunts me daily.
I just wish there was some person out there that I could pay money to go see (I’m talkin like $20 with my broke ass), and they would tell me exactly who I am and what I need to do with my life.
I’m struggling man, help me.
I just wish I had some talent that I could use to motivate myself into pursuing. Now I’m not trying to sit here and feel pity for myself, please don’t think that. I just wanted to write about how I’m having a hard time with figuring out life, like most of us.
My optimistic mindset can be either a good thing or a bad thing. It’s still to be determined because as of right now, I’m seeing it as a bad thing. Wanna know why? Imma tell you why.
Because I have looked at life thus far as ‘everything is going to turn out’, ‘just believe and pray and don’t worry because it will all work out in the end’, ‘you’ll eventually figure it out, don’t stress about it’. And I haven’t, until now.
I’m a senior in college about ready to graduate; actually in another year and a half (I have to go an extra semester). But I’m still so naive about my future. I think it’ll turn out in the end but it’s like ummm honey, not if you’re not doing shit about anything. I get good grades and I get involved but I just feel like it’s not enough.
I see everyone else going out and becoming presidents of the clubs they’re in, creating events, helping save lives I don’t know.
This might just be my own personal issues, and I hope it is because this feeling sucks.
I don’t think I’ve taken enough time to get to know myself personally. Like I mentioned before about loving to meet new people, that means that I’m not by myself a lot of the time. I never take a whole day to myself to just be alone and do what I want to do. I constantly have to be with people or meeting new people. I don’t see anything wrong with this but it hasn’t helped me figure out myself.
Okay, I think I’ve hit my limit on thoughts tonight so I’ll leave you guys with that.
If you guys read it all the way through, lets be friends honestly cause it was quite a bit, but I really appreciate it.
Connect with me somehow one way or another, I’d love to get to know you all! I’ll try to continue to write as much as possible but this is mainly a page for me to get my thoughts on ‘paper’. If you enjoy it though, don’t be afraid to comment and let me know!
Turn on my notifications to know when I’ve written something new cause God knows when the next time will be… Could be a day, a month, a year, who even knows.
Anyways, hope you all have an amazing night as it is midnight here in the midwest, I need to get some sleep. Revisit soon loveys ❤
Peace & Blessings
“We cling to music, to poems, to quotes, to writing, to art because we desperately do not want to be alone. We want to know we aren’t going crazy and someone else out there knows exactly how you’re feeling. We want someone to explain the things we can’t.”
Do you guys ever get in those moods where the only thing that will help you calm down or get in your feels is music? Music has such an important roll in my life. I could be on top of the world one minute listening to rihanna and the next I’m listening to james arthur in my room with a churro and Friends playing.
Weird I don’t know.
Damn a churro sounds so good right now.
Okay, basically I just wanted to share some news with you guys. The music thing was an obvious observation and just something that was on my mind so kinda irrelevant to the post but whatever.
~ I’M GOING TO COSTA RICA ~
Gosh that felt good to say. I’m so freaking excited I wanna stand on this chair in the middle of Starbucks and yell it at everyone.
I’d probably get kicked out though and I kinda like this place so I’ll keep it cool.
But yesssss, I’m going with my roommate in August from the 9th to the 18th! So if any one of y’all are in Costa Rica or have ever been there, hit me up or hit me up with ideas on what to do when I get there!
I’m staying at an airbnb in Montezuma and it’s the cutest little treehouse I’ve ever laid eyes on ❤
It was just a random idea I had earlier this month that I wanted to go on a trip before school started yanno to lessen the blow of classes and such. 9 days to not think about responsibilities sounds good to me.
I wanna see some cute lil creatures. Be greeted by monkeys and armadillos and pretty birdies in the morning. I’ll be posting hella pictures too while I’m there on my Instagram so if you guys don’t follow me, I’ll help ya out.
~ @abbyhallman ~
^^^^^^^^^^ There she is. Enjoy friends.
I’m gonna need help packing too cause I have absolutely no idea how to pack. I suck at it.
As much as I travel, I should probably know how to simplify and be smart about what I bring but no, I still suck.
So if anyone has any advice on how to help me out or even comment some youtube videos I could watch, I would appreciate ya very much. Anything helps, I promise.
Help a girl out, she’s desperate.
Also, I’ll be posting a couple blog posts too just to keep you guys updated on my adventures and fun activities I will be doin even if you don’t care.
I’m just ready for some sun, no work, ocean, culture, and amigos 🙂
Short post today but I wanted to stay in touch since I haven’t had much time lately!
I’ve been awful keeping this thing up to date so I apologize friendlies but I’ll hopefully get better soon. I’ll post quotes more often at least. My life isn’t interesting enough to post constantly to update you cause you all would be bored within 5 minutes I promise.
Anyways, I hope everyone has a wonderful Friday and a wonderful weekend. Spend it with friends, family, strangers, your turtle, or your favorite book!
Thanks guys for readin my thoughts once again, come back for some quotes or more posts when I get the time! Follow me too so you know when I post instead of going through the hassle to check everyday to see if I’ve kept up with my responsibilities.. Which um spoiler alert, I probably haven’t.
< SAVES YA TIME >
Don’t be afraid to message me either or comment to ask me anything! I’m so down to meeting you all!
Love every single one of you pnuts
Peace & Blessings ❤
“She is the kind of beauty that gently falls on your lips like snowflakes softly falling to the ground, silent, subtle, fragile to touch, but beautiful nonetheless. She is made of winter, thunderstorms, and scars, yet she possesses the gentlest touch for the broken souls. When you meet her, you probably won’t notice her right away, for hers is the beauty that whispers ever so subtly to your soul, capturing your heart and should first before entrancing your eyes.” – Cynthia Go
“You will not always be the smartest person in the room, and you will not always be the strongest or the funniest or the most talented. But you can always be brave and you can always be kind, and these are the things you should be every minute of every day for the rest of your life. Because yes, those other things, they’re great things.
But these things are better.”
I’m in a mood.
Do you ever begin to relax or have nothing going on that you get into your head and all you can do is think about anything and everything that has to do with your whole existence.
Sounds excessive but I know I’m not the only one.
I’m a deep thinker.
I like to have deep conversations and talk about life. I love hearing about others’ lives, their pet peeves, their greatest desires, fears, and dreams.
Sometimes when I get in these moods, the only thing I can think of doing is writing. It’s a stress reliever. That doesn’t mean I’m feeling stress by any means, it just shows that I’m getting into my feelings.
Want to know what I’m thinking about?
Okay, even if you don’t I’m telling you anyways. Stress reliever, so, yeah, you know how it goes.
I’m someone who likes to stay busy. I love having a schedule and an organized way of knowing what I am doing the upcoming week. I have worked doubles the past three days and had today off because it’s Sunday and in Utah, NOTHING is open on Sundays.
So, like any normal person would do, I decided to have a personal day.
This was my day. I got groceries, did laundry, took a few tests I had to finish for my job, slept, and watched Netflix.
I’m upset with myself.
At the end of the day, it’s nice to know that I had this time to relax, but at the same time, I also think, what could have been a better use of my time.
I’m in Utah for only three months, and I sat around and watched Netflix. That infuriates me.
I do work a double tomorrow so my instincts were to have a relaxing day today but now, I just feel like a lazy bum. That might just be me, but I hate it.
You know what I could have done?
- Go on a hike
- Do yoga in the mountains
- Gone to a painting class
- Gone swimming
- Hung out with friends
- Read a book
- Window shopped in a flower shop (I love doing this)
- Drove around and looked at the scenery
The options are endless and that is what I did with my day.
I mean, why not use the time I’m not working to really explore what this state has to offer.
Isn’t that the reason I moved here in the first place?
YOU WOULD THINK.
Right now I am doing the one thing I enjoy doing that also relaxes me.
Whether it’s a novel or not, it brings me joy. Getting my feelings out in the open and not holding them in.
I’m also a person that doesn’t like to burden people with my thoughts because lemme tell ya, there are plenty of them. However, I am that person that wants everyone to come to me for their problems and have the trust and friendship in me to be able to let it out and tell me everything.
If you don’t have a journal or a blog or anything you can get your feelings out on, have a friend.
My boyfriend is the perfect person for this. I can’t thank him enough for always being there when I have those times where all I wanna do is scream, cry, yell, vent, or have deep talks.
Right now is one of those times and he is in Rome sleeping at the moment, so here we are. I am talking to you people who take the time to read my writing which by the way, I am so appreciative of.
I write because I enjoy it and because it makes me happier every time I post an article knowing people out there feel the same way I do. All I want to do is be that person that everyone feels comfortable coming to for anything.
I will be that friend for you if you don’t have a person. I don’t say that out of pity at all, I say that because I want to get to know everyone and be able to help them in whatever situation they may be in at all times.
Knowing people are struggling with issues that I don’t know about upsets me and of course that’s dramatic considering I don’t know everyone but I want to.
This was a big reason I created this blog. I love reaching out and really getting to know people.
The real them.
So if anyone ever has any issues they need to get off their chest or just want to talk about, please oh please, know that I am here. Don’t think of me as a stranger please because I will be as open with you as you are with me.
I’m not here to be your therapist, I’m here as a friend and as a human being who only wants to help.
We all get in our feelings. We’re human, it’s what we do. Some may just show it more than others and that’s okay.
I have this dream guys.
I have this dream or goal per say, that everyone I come in contact with, becomes either happier or that my presence decreases their stress when talking with me.
How crazy is that.
I have no idea why but all I want to be is a healer for everyone. I don’t tell anyone this ever.
This is a big deal that I’m actually getting this deep into my thoughts right now.
I’ll probably write an article soon about a couple more thoughts I typically have but right now, I think I’ve maxed out on my deep thinking for everyone who cares to listen…
I know this post is a bit longer than my typical articles but I wanted to get this out. This is the kind of stuff that comes to my mind so often, I thought it was important to let it out.
I could probably go on and on about how I feel during this post but I’m not trying to bore you all with my feelings novel.
If you lasted this long, as I always and sincerely say, thanks for reading guys. I do this blog for my enjoyment and also in the hopes that at least someone either can relate or get something out of my words; makes them think differently about anything.
Hope you all have a wonderful rest of your Sunday if you’re in the U.S or Monday if your across the world. Come back for those daily quotes that I post. I’ll try to liven the mood in my next post but again, really appreciate you all for reading. As always,
Peace & Blessings ❤
“This life is what you make it. No matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends – they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything – they’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them – actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if you give up, you’ll never find your soulmate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.” – Marilyn Monroe
“Be the kind of person who isn’t afraid to ask someone if they are okay twice if they say they are, but look like the aren’t. Be the kind of person who smiles at people even if they don’t smile back. Be the kind person you wished for when no one was there for you. Be the kind person who is brave enough to stand alone in a crowd for what is right. Be that person because we need more people like that in the world. Be that person because people like that are rarer than the rarest diamonds and gold.” – Nikita Gill
I know so many of us are terrified to try new things and others would jump off a cliff the first instinct they get that it’s safe.
Well, for me moving to Utah, that’s a pretty new experience. And if you follow me on any social media, you’ll see all these amazing pictures of me having the time of my life and just the best summer ever.
Now I’m not saying I’m not in any way BUT I have had hardships being here already for just a couple weeks.
The exciting is the new atmosphere, the new environment, and getting to meet wonderful people.
I wake up excited for the day and what it could entail! I get happy knowing I haven’t discovered everything about the area. I would move to a different state next summer in a heartbeat.
12/10 would recommend trying a new place to live.
However, it’s not all sunshines and rainbows and pretty mountains all the time.
I’ve had roommate troubles, job issues, you name it. It all comes with the package of spontaneity.
The art of figuring it out as you go.
I have never had this issue because whenever I have a situation to deal with, I focus on those positives that most people look past.
What good does only focusing on the negative do?
Realize what you have and how blessed you truly are no matter how awful your problems are, there’s always a light no matter how small.
“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.”
I don’t mean to say this to be cheesy at all (cause it’s coming off very deep and cheesy). I say this to be real.
We hear it all the time but have you ever listened to people and took their advice.
We always think “They don’t understand”, “My situation is different”, “How can they say that? It never works”.
You’re probably right, they might not. But that doesn’t mean those people haven’t had any situation similar or aren’t trying to help you.
Those who stick around and go out of their way to help you don’t need to understand. They just need to be present.
Keep those humans in your life, they’re hard to find nowadays.
But don’t make it harder for them to help you. Open up enough to let them. I know it’s hard, trust me, it’s taken me years to find people to trust and open up to.
However, because I did open up, I’ve met some of the most genuine people that I have the honor to call my best friends.
Nothing is ever as bad as it seems.
I know honey, your situation could feel like a death or the end of the world but I promise you it isn’t.
All you wanna do is sit and cry and feel bad and think that there’s nothing you can do.
Find that person, that hobby, that song, that light that will always help you when you’re stressed or in pain. It will change your life.
If you haven’t found it yet, then for gods sake try everything. Don’t wait for it to come to you.
Yoga is a HUGE stress reliever for me as well as writing. I learned I’m a person who likes to get it out whether on paper, through this blog, or talking to someone.
How did I figure that out?
I did it enough to realize my love for it.
I tried it for the first time, and then again, and then again and I got addicted.
Everyone has to start somewhere.
Don’t be a lazy ass sitting on the couch all the time thinking netflix is your stress reliever because it takes you away from the world for a period of time.
Please try to find a healthy way to deal with it.
If any of you want to talk to me about any situation you’re dealing with or even just want to talk about the kind of sandwich you had the other day, I’ll be here to listen.
I’ll be present always.
Thanks so much for reading guys, I know my posts get deep sometimes and I’ll try to lighten them up soon but I base them off my life in the time being and what I’m feeling. Don’t be afraid to reach out or even ask me questions about my life or anything in general!
I know a couple cool random facts if that interests any of you 🙂
Hope to hear from you all and hope you enjoy the crazy content I decide to write about! Love you all and I hope you have a blessed Wednesday.
Peace & Blessings ❤